A trial run of anything is a good idea. Due to the fact that I had started to notice my isolation a lot more recently my sister suggested that I should get a dog. It seemed like a good idea at the time but on close reflection I decided against it. Seperate from this I had arranged with the friend some time ago that I would look after his dog Bruno. Bruno is a large American Labrador, very friendly and very clumsy.
Although I had already made the decision not to get the dog I’ve used the experience as something of a trial and error exercise. What has surprised me is that rather than make me feel like I have company the reverse has happened and I feel more isolated. I think this is because I am conscious that the only company I have is a dog and then I realise that anytime I want to go out, and I often do impulsively, I feel bad about leaving the dog by himself and I’m also conscious of having to rush home when I go to work. I think this is because one of the freedoms I do have is to go where I want when I want and if I want to see someone or even just change my scenery I can do so. Of course, I still can even with the dog, but I notice this restriction more. The conclusion that I have reached is; I love dogs but not enough to have one of my own!
My friend Neil has confirmed that he is to move back to his hometown which is around one hour’s drive from where I live. We are already doing the wedding photography together so we are discussing ways that we can further integrate this hobby/business. It is a big move for him as he has built up a business in Edinburgh and I am sure it will feel weird to receive email from prospective customers when he is no longer in the area. I imagine that will feel like throwing money away. But I know he will be much happier with this fresh start.
I am hoping that if we can find photo shoots we can do them together. I have lost count of the amount of hours that I have spent noting that there are not many types of jobs that I would like to do. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I both want to work and don’t want to work at the same time. When I apply for jobs now I am very aware of the freedom that I will be giving up the moment that I accept a position.
I’ve managed to secure the next 18 months but I know they will pass quickly.If we can get the wedding photography business up and running this appears to me to be a good balance of my freedom and also hard-working short bursts that I can actually enjoy. The stress of wedding photography does not bother me as I know I can do it. The only issue that I can see is that if it becomes my career I would have to be prepared to go it alone if something either happened to Neil or we went our separate ways commercially. The same applies to him of course. This Sunday we have a wedding fair and I’m sure that I will comment more about this as the week progresses.
The last thing to mention is I continue to consider the acting industry but I am taking my time. My use of it as an illustration of me being aware of how time and people change is not a reason to start a hobby or make a commitment that I don’t want to make. More of that in due course.